Are You Ready For Change?

Change is a law of the universe, it’s inevitable, with every passing day we are growing and changing in some form or the another. The harsh reality of life is that nothing is constant and changes sound scary because of their unpredictability and uncertainty. Most of us want to sit in our comfort zone and that is not wrong, being afraid of change is never wrong, It’s a part of human nature. Now the question arises then how to change? How to grow and how to absorb change and Why should we be comfortable about change?

Why are we afraid of change?

We bother more about the outgrowth of change. The unpredictability provides food to our fears of losing or left behind. We stay more in our core beliefs or the experiences of our past. We forget the most vital thing, that life is uncertain – the probability of having good is equal to the probability of bad. No matter how much we say we are optimistic, as soon as we hit changes, our pessimistic sides start coming up. We keep rethinking about the consequences. The constant fear of losing comfort and current luxuries starts revolving in our head.

Why we should not be afraid of change?

If we will keep ourself trapped where we are, we will never be able to figure on what’s next and what should we do in future. If we will not fight our fear we will be chained where we are. Some of us are in a toxic stage in our career/ relationship but we don’t try to move on because of the fear of having a more toxic future. We have to except that every chapter of life has to end.

How to Overcome Afraid of Change?

1. Stop flowing with the stream, create your own path. Don’t be casual and don’t live with the idea of flowing with life.

2. Realise life doesn’t end here, there is a lot more to go, and the future of your life doesn’t depend on one decision of life, Stop listening to people around you, you are the only one who can change your destiny at any part of life.

3. Nothing is permanent and perfect, accept yourself as you are. 

4. The people around you are merely players, they don’t have a major role in your story. It is you who have to be a hero in your story.

5. The story doesn’t end on failure, the story starts from failure. Make your failure your starting point to success.

6. Don’t relate your life with other people experiences. You are different, so is your life and so your story will be. Their outcome was the results of their inputs. Your inputs and thought process is different just like you.

Writer’s Tip -Whenever thoughts like ‘what if you fail’ crosses your head, think about what if you win. When thoughts like ‘what if you fall’, falls in your head, think about what if you rise. Every success story starts from small tiny risks.  Beat the scary haunts of failure in your heads, Be the hero of your story.

 

 

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How to Stop Overthinking?

Most of us are dwelling back and forth in the memories of past and worries of future. With rising stress, we start feeling lonely, frustrated and depressed. At that time, we just want to pack your bags and want to run away from that place. Is it with me or Are you facing some problems? Let’s start finding a solution to it because obviously we can’t pack our bags and go somewhere, ultimately our this job is earning bread and house rent for us, we are bound to it to fulfil our goals.

Stop Blaming And Forgive Yourself

Let’s us move step by step to overcome this challenge of life. Many of us are locking ourselves in the chains of regret and guilt because of the choices we have made in the past. We are continuously blaming ourselves.  You are human and humans are bound to make mistakes. Maybe your decisions are worse than others but this is your life you cannot spoil it based on some decisions.

“Imagine you are walking on the subway with a cup of coffee but suddenly you hit a pole because of the crowd and end up spilling half of your coffee. So, now will you keep the regret of half spill coffee throughout the life or will enjoy the other half of life, This is the same as Life, Do you want to end another half of your life regretting about the mistakes you made in the first half of your life”.

It’s the time to forgive yourself and work on a better version of you.

Overcome fear Of The Outcome

I always had this issue of overthinking and analysing about the future, I keep on analysing all the permutation and combinations of winning in life. Sometimes, the fear of losing and not fulfilling my goals made me upset or make me panic while reaching my goal. In fact, The whole world has seen ” The God of Cricket – Sachin Tendulkar” at his nervous 90’s, so who are we, everyone can have that fear but do you realise that our this fear often stops us from reaching our goal. So, don’t you think, you should stop putting yourself in this hot water?

Choose Between Belief and Reality 

As a kid, I was very scared of ghosts, some of us are still scared of them. Do you remember the last time when you saw a horror movie and you were a little terrified while sleeping at night and you felt that there can be a ghost in your room? Although, you are aware that there are no ghosts in real but still it haunts us. This is what belief is, some of us overthink about our beliefs which may or may not exist. We leave the door of reality and choose to live in a room of belief.

Keep Yourself Busy 

It’s a very old saying -” The empty mind is the devil’s workshop”. Free mind welcomes a number of thoughts. Keep yourself busy with work, goals, friends or whatever you like. There is a number of options available these days to keep yourself busy which may also help you to enhance your skills, you can join some courses you like or watch some web series.

Share Your Heart Out

Share your thoughts, problems, guilts and problems with someone you trust, sometimes it makes us feel relief. Generally, I pen down my thoughts to release myself from the burden of thoughts.

Writer’s Tip – If half spill cup of coffee affects you so much then buy a new cup of coffee for yourself. Create a world which keeps you happy, you have all the rights to change the things which don’t keep you happy. A world with your choice of office, job, apartment, song, party, person, friend or city which makes you feel happy.

What Is The Power Of Words?

A word is the smallest element that can be uttered in isolation with an objective or practical meaning. Words are the source of magic and capable of both causing injury and remedying it. Words can be used as constructive or destructive, with words we can attain power, make people laugh, create joy and destroy hearts.

A politician, comedian, writer and many more are growing because of the apt use of their words. There are numbers of song lyrics, poems, dialogues etc which touched our soul or changed our perception at some point of time in life.

  • Choose Your Words Wisely

According to some polls, whatever we deliver impacts our mind, positive statements develop positive outset and vice versa. For example- If you keep on saying to your mind – “I am alone”, it will make you start feeling lonesome and anxious.

Using negative words -can’t, shouldn’t, won’t, fat, lazy, sleepy makes you look negative to the world and especially to you yourself, find out the positive of these words. For example- If you are not able to do some work, instead of saying- “I can’t do it, I need more time” say I am doing research on this and it’s under process or just tell the approach you are following to that task.

When you whine about life or other stuff, people perceive you have a problem with everything which may not exactly be true. Who do you like most – “The people who compliment you and tell you about interesting happening stories or the people who always bitch about others and complain about life”. Choose who do you like?

words

  • Don’t Let Your Words Hurt Others

One of my friends used to narrate me with a story- “Once upon a time, there was a Tree outside of a big house, the owner of the house was very upset with the tree because it used to block the sunlight into his house, Frustrated owner cannot cut the tree because of “Save Tree” rules of the town. The upset owner used to utter ill words to the tree everytime he passes near the tree. As a result, after some days the tree falls itself. There was no rain, no thunder, no strong wind and the tree fall itself because of owners abusing. ” In the same way, our words are equal to the sword and capable of killing someone. There are many people out there in this world who are a victim of mocking, body shamming and criticism because of the words we choose for them. Many of them are under depression and many are thinking of suicide.

Writer’s Tip – Your words can do wonders in the world. A long back, I read- “Compliment one person every day, It’ll make their day”. This is one of the things, I do daily and it really does wonders.

A GENERATION THAT “NEVER SETTLES”…..

“We are lonely, hopeless and desperate for love” – “F.R.I.E.N.D.S”

With the tagline of mobile phone “Never Settle”, our’s the generation which has stopped settling for anything. My father has always told me – “His generation used to believe in settling for what they have, they wanted to earn their livelihood, were ready to compromise and live peacefully with one or few people” but our generation wants to earn to expend and always want to explore more opportunity.

We are the generation exploited by impatience, rapid technological growth and lack of planning. We are running for materialistic possessions, we lack steadiness and want instant food, instant money transfer, instant hook-up partner. We are creating a fake world around us, let’s name it a world of “SOCIAL MEDIA” or “SHOSHAN(exploit) MEDIA”, everything we do revolves around the people of this world and what we all try is to please this world without even knowing what we actually want. In fact, we are selling our peace of eating, travelling or living a moment because of this world.

  • We thrive for numbers – “Numbers in bank accounts and numbers of followers“. With numbers, I know a person who had 10k followers on Instagram and committed suicide, no one was aware of what the reason was, so basically we have people to talk to but we don’t have people who can listen to our battles.
  • Secondly, The generation of late 80’s and 90’s have seen technology growing with themselves, that’s why We are the generation who are stuck between superstitions and technology“. We have grown from the era of love to tinder, with the era of groups of friends in summer vacation to Facebook, from photo albums to Instagram, from an honest smile to Whatsapp smilies. So basically, we are still confused in between, what we like most among them two. We are still confused between our love for mountains or the fast pacing city.
  • Most of the youth are living alone, they are so much into their independence hence they fear commitment and compromising their space. On one hand, they want to love and on other, they have trust issues.

One of my psychologist friends says – Some are under pressure because their parents bully them by comparing them to others, some are in a war of jealousy and race of being better with their surroundings.
Writer’s Tip – There is no hard and fast advice to come out of it but we should try to clear out the clouds of confusion and create a real world where we don’t feel alone as soon as we put the cell phone on the table. Try to come of out of this world – “Travel more and click less, love more and think less, smile more and tweet less, build trust more and judge less”.

IS ANGER REALLY BAD?

O mighty anger where will you take me...
On the mountain of success or to the roads of joy..
O mighty anger where will you take me..
In the world of smiles or to the fountains of peace...
O mighty anger where will you take me...
In the ocean of my dreams or to the purpose of my life.. 
O mighty anger where will you take me..
Uhmm... Are you going to break me? --Tushita 

From Kindergarten to date, the only constant thing in my life was anger and frustration. It’s very difficult to write on such a topic after being a short-tempered and impatient person but I really want to write about how to deal with anger and what I learnt from the crucial hit of life because of my low self-control.

The anger is fueled as soon as you feel deceived and realised that the situation is going beyond your plans, the people are not following what you have predecided and what you have expected from them. As soon as that situation encounters, you start losing control over yourself.

Why Anger is not bad ???

  • Anger is just another feeling like happiness and sadness that makes you realise if you are truly alive and have feelings within you
  • Anger makes you realise what are the wants of your life and what do you dislike
  • Anger motivate you to move towards changes, your goals, desires and dreams
  • Anger helps you to put forth your thoughts clearly and be defensive in the worst situation when it is actually required

Have you watched “Angry Birds”, how in the end they turn their anger into good and success to save their’s place?

If anger is not bad then what is ???

The consequences of anger are actual devils – the outbursts, yelling, jealousy, violence, aggression, hating ownself, physical attack, self-hampering or harming the objects around us. It also includes the words that you shout which you actually don’t mean but they harm things and make you lose your loved ones or people close to you which later results in regrets and guilts, then you lose your calm for having that guilt and falls in the trap of vicious cycle.

How to control your Outbursts?

  • Anger is an acquired trait that you procure from your surroundings which can be parents, friends, the people you interact with, some past or childhood bad experiences. So, first and foremost parents should keep their children away from such a negative environment, secondly you should keep yourself away from such a situation.
  • Control your outbursts, don’t respond immediately to any situation, I know it’s easy to say but difficult to do, so it’s better to just walk off from that spot and if you can’t do this then try deep breathing, think about some happy moments, starts checking your phone. You have to hold that sudden trigger for a few minutes until everything will be normal.
  • Of course, you can never stop this feeling because this is a part of human trait but think twice before getting frustrated whether the situation is worth to lose your mental peace, think twice if that person, dilemma, fear is going to affect you after certain years of your life. So now, If your answer is no then its not the time to lose your calm.
  • Have proper sleep and take small trips to new places, if this has been a long-term issue then take a break from office/school/college/home whatever the situation is which is making you frustrated because nothing is more important than your inner peace.

Writer’s TipAs soon as, I start losing my calm, I say to inner me- “Are you so weak to handle this circumstance? Is this really matter to you? If you are going to lose your patience here then it’s your inability and I know you are not incompetent so together we are gonna fight this and be cool as we are.” Sometimes, I even go to the washroom, watch some funny pet’s videos or dance for two minutes. Crying in the washroom is so overhyped, let’s try dance. Trust me, It works like a miracle for me.

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How has been 2018 so far?

300 days of this year have passed, 65 more to go. Wow, It’s festive season – Diwali, Thanks Giving, Christmas all the festivals are around. So today, let’s have a walk back on the journey of the memory lane of this year to know –“How this year was, what majors are yet to be accomplished, How far have you reached with the resolutions of this year, what will be the plans of the coming year. “. Let’s have a look at mine first then you take some time to think about yours.

This Year, I have got the subscription to Amazon Prime, Netflix, hotstar premium, so we have killed much time on movies and web series. I have signed up for various food applications – Uber eats, Zomato, Swiggy and three more, thus had a good time with food, In fact, My friends have nicknamed me “Swiggy”. This year, I have become the victim of PUBG and weight gain. I have travelled more and refrained myself from using social media apps. I was planning to start meditation and yoga, be fit and in shape but end up eating more brownies and have donated my enough salary to food applications.

Life hit me hard with some lessons and sudden unexpected changes this year. So, I got distracted very soon from my career, health and learning goals. The mental stress of mine has pushed me to move in a different direction and that direction was the direction looking for peace and comfort. My comfort zone resulted in a delay of the accomplishment of my targets. It took a long time to buckle up and realise that the year is on the verge of its end and I am still in the middle of some targets.

Disappointment and remorse over anything will now not result into any good outcome“. So, I am going to mention the positive side for all the people who are disheartened like me over unfulfilled targets of this year I might have behaved like a spoiled brat but “I discovered how to appreciate myself, how to dance like no one is watching, how to relish this very moment, how to shut down the past and dead windows of yesterday, how to cut off from negative and fake people, how to prioritize yourself. I have got a good control over my weakness of losing temper. I have scrutinized myself to be a better individual for me“.

In a nutshell, Considering all the virtues and vices, this year I might have not grown into economic terms, health, shape or in education but I have learnt the most important chapters of life, I am on the track of peace, happiness and my dreams that will have a profound effect on my future. Most important thing is 300 days might have passed, but there are 65 more, It’s the time not to waste these precious days and come up with quality moments with the sense of relief of fulfilled aspirations, Don’t go for any packed deadlines but at least start with few of them because “SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOTHING”. As in, you may not achieve a fit body in 65 days but a few pounds will also come up with a joy. A spoon full of success can motivate you to achieve a bowl full of success. 

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Are You Compatible in your Relationship?

The scariest word for me in this world is “Relationship“, Say the word “Relationship” a couple of times and I will run away but one fine day while getting hair massage from my grandmother, I questioned her, What’s her story –“What kept them adhere to this bond for more than 50+ years?” It is your late 70’s, Do you ever felt in your lifetime about quitting or giving up on each other? Do you guys struggle on stupid random things like our generation? I am sure every one of us has some such questions back and forth in our life?

Guess what, she replied to me, She said these are all aspects of life, everyone encounter this but you are the one who decides what to choose, It’s all about priorities. Not all relationships are perfect but some are, the one which u don’t fit in should be left at the right time. The one where you find reasons to stay, try cementing them up for long haul, nurture them up, they just require to make up a few compatibilities, “Love doesn’t beg for sacrifices“, as the world says, instead love supports you to grow and makes you stronger, love holds your back and say “Hey! Listen, I am there for you“. Well, there are no adequate factors which define relationship compatibility but few factors which strong relationship demands besides love are –

    • Emotional Compatibility – The relationship can endure if you have trust, understanding between you two halves, the vibes and recognising the need, care of each other’s requirements is vital, how emotionally you are open to your partner in good or bad which can include conversations about each other on small chores of life or big chaos of life. It’s good to have gossiping, bitching, daydreaming and life planning sessions between you two. It’s the joy of being compatible with each other for celebrating small blossoming flower to overcoming dark clouds together.
    • Interests– The idea of how do we want to shape our life and relationship is very important, two individual may not share the same life vision but they need to match their relationship goals that what they as in look for their relationship and their life goals also decide some small and big factors because still in this crucial world love can not earn bread for you . Sharing some hobbies and interests are a great help, this is what I learn from one of my friend’s couple they share the same food and travel interest so they spend half of their life doing it.
    • Respect – Respect to your partner should always be maintained even at the time of frustration, in public or private. I have seen some people posting happy romantic pictures on facebook and then fighting like monkeys offline, maintain respect in public as well as private.
    • Physical Compatibility – It may sound lame or even contrasts the definition of love, For the large part of society “Looks” are also one of the important components it’s just that everyone has the different definition of looks. You need to be excited about your partner, and certainly not be repulsed. The physical compatibility is clearly based on a subjective set of preferences of an individual. Not having the same style can have a negative long-term effect on your relationship.

Writer’s TipDon’t let the teenager love die within you, those random roses, chocolates, morning kisses, cooking surprise meals and random trips do wonders till the date.

Life – A Trip!!

“Life is a race, if you don’t run fast you’ll get trampled” – said by Everyone.

Today, I want to change the fact of life being a race. According to me, Life is not a race but a trip, where you travel from one destination to another. You don’t have to run fast, you have to live where you are. Have you ever been on a trip? How do we plan for a trip – we decide the place we are touring, the people we want to travel with, the scenes we want to explore. That’s how Life’s wherein we shape our dreams, fantasies, our profession and the companion, buddies with whom we want to blow our life.

Now what’s the next in the trip, we start travelling to a wonderful journey singing, dancing, whirling and playing on the tour with some sleepy riders, the same we do in our life where we breathe the moments with our family, friends and sleepy ghosts who have no much role in our life but are part of it.

You reach your first destination, get excited to explore it, click some solo pictures some group pictures, this is how life looks- you finish your first destination, enjoy some moments alone, together and then you move to another place, other destination. We recall our last destination, design memories, cherish them. This is how we move in life from school, college, work, family, kids, retirement and lot of other moments. We experience some hard moments, some good moments as in trip some spots are artistic, some are not. You can experience some bad hotel room or bad food, as we encounter some moment of discomfort in life, there can be hardships, some places would be plain, some would be overwhelming and some will be disheartening. Every trip is a wonderful story like life.

Sometimes roads will be smooth, some will be ruptured, sometime you will travel in moonlight under the sky full of stars, sometime in a peaceful breeze and sometime under hot sun, fiery air, there would be a garden of flowers, there would be deserts , there would be mountains and furious oceans, there would be a calm beach and beautiful sunrise.

Now it’s a time to think Do you want to run in some unknown race with no end point just changing laps or you want to be a tourist in some never-ending trip with lots of adventures. Life is how we perceive it. It’s the time to pack your bags, hold the steering of life, raise the music up, grab some beer and dance like no one’ watching. It’s the time to take your hands out of the window, fasten your heartbeat and move your fingers in the air.

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“Alive” or “Just Breathing”?

What is the meaning of “Alive”??? According to the dictionary, the answer is – having life, living, existing, not dead or lifeless, in a state of action, in force or operation, active.
According to me, this is not what alive actually means! The question is still not answered properly, So my friends, I ask this question to you – Are you alive? I believe, most of you will come up with an answer – Yes, I am alive.
But when I asked this question, Have you thought what is your definition of Alive?

According to me If you wake up in the morning and sleep at night, and have zero time to scrutinise yourself, to follow your passion, to travel across the world, to love someone, to just sit and analyse the actual dilemmas of your life and much more, then my friend “YOU ARE NOT ALIVE“. The drums of your veins and heart are good to prove you as a living thing but not your existence. Take a deep breath, and think – Are you surviving or living? Are you one more HUMAN ROBOT?

Do you remember the last trip plan you made and it failed? Do you remember you planned for the gym/yoga class? Do you remember you wanted to join the music/dance class? You wanted to learn that new technology, you had a dream of changing this job, your idea of proposing to your crush. All your ideas that failed made you dead bit by bit. You might be following the same dead monotonous routine from weeks, months or years. Why don’t you wake up?
Now, my dear fella, I have one more question for you – WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE?
Last week I questioned this with many people surrounding me and got the interesting responses, I have shortlisted some interesting responses- The strings of my Guitar makes me feel alive, PUBG(Game) and hot tea make me feel alive,I feel alive when I see those beautiful, flowing rivers, chirping birds and snowfall. That cool breeze makes me feel alive. The moment I finish my hill trek makes me feel alive, I feel alive when my program runs in one go without any error.

I evaluated all the answers and concluded – What makes us alive are – the purpose of being a better person than who we are, the hope of attaining good, the love of following our passion, thrive to fulfil our dreams, the zeal in our heart. So just take a pause, break the glass ceiling you created for yourself and GO LIVE! Issue yourself a life ticket and “BE ALIVE”. Stop striving for peace and prioritise your passion. Explore YOURSELF.

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! –Dr. Seus

Just feel the below lines from the movie – Zindagi Na Milegi Dubara
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

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