Are You Ready For Change?

Change is a law of the universe, it’s inevitable, with every passing day we are growing and changing in some form or the another. The harsh reality of life is that nothing is constant and changes sound scary because of their unpredictability and uncertainty. Most of us want to sit in our comfort zone and that is not wrong, being afraid of change is never wrong, It’s a part of human nature. Now the question arises then how to change? How to grow and how to absorb change and Why should we be comfortable about change?

Why are we afraid of change?

We bother more about the outgrowth of change. The unpredictability provides food to our fears of losing or left behind. We stay more in our core beliefs or the experiences of our past. We forget the most vital thing, that life is uncertain – the probability of having good is equal to the probability of bad. No matter how much we say we are optimistic, as soon as we hit changes, our pessimistic sides start coming up. We keep rethinking about the consequences. The constant fear of losing comfort and current luxuries starts revolving in our head.

Why we should not be afraid of change?

If we will keep ourself trapped where we are, we will never be able to figure on what’s next and what should we do in future. If we will not fight our fear we will be chained where we are. Some of us are in a toxic stage in our career/ relationship but we don’t try to move on because of the fear of having a more toxic future. We have to except that every chapter of life has to end.

How to Overcome Afraid of Change?

1. Stop flowing with the stream, create your own path. Don’t be casual and don’t live with the idea of flowing with life.

2. Realise life doesn’t end here, there is a lot more to go, and the future of your life doesn’t depend on one decision of life, Stop listening to people around you, you are the only one who can change your destiny at any part of life.

3. Nothing is permanent and perfect, accept yourself as you are. 

4. The people around you are merely players, they don’t have a major role in your story. It is you who have to be a hero in your story.

5. The story doesn’t end on failure, the story starts from failure. Make your failure your starting point to success.

6. Don’t relate your life with other people experiences. You are different, so is your life and so your story will be. Their outcome was the results of their inputs. Your inputs and thought process is different just like you.

Writer’s Tip -Whenever thoughts like ‘what if you fail’ crosses your head, think about what if you win. When thoughts like ‘what if you fall’, falls in your head, think about what if you rise. Every success story starts from small tiny risks.  Beat the scary haunts of failure in your heads, Be the hero of your story.

 

 

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Respect Women!

This post is not to raise the flag of “FEMINISM”. “Women are not a commodity and deserve respect” is said by every FEMINIST but there is some more which is required for women to maintain it’s status and self-respect in society. This post is trying to explain the fact with certain incidents, There are few incidents which made me write it –

  1. Last day, I was talking to a friend and he said-“ I don’t trust girls at all, They are “Gossip Queens” and gossip about everything“. With his statement, I gave myself food of thought who do I know who gossips and I realised – Yes, there are some of the girls who are gossip queens and there are some of the boys who are gossip kings. The crown deserves to both the genders, why do we think that this trait belongs to this particular gender.
  2. Similarly few backs one of the people I was talking mentioned – “Women doing jobs is the reason for increasing divorces in India because with the job they don’t have time to look after their home and family“. Moreover, as they are empowered they found it very easy to take divorce and settle their life of their own. Well, I think the reason for divorce these days is the growth in society, these days they people don’t tie themselves in an abusive, toxic or insecure relationship. It has nothing to do with women doing the job.
  3. Last Month, I was travelling in the metro, two women’s boards into the metro, one of them were carrying the baby and one was a fit and fine youngster, there was only one vacant seat. The fit women ran and grab the seat then one man stood and gave the seat to women with a baby but none of the women stood up to give her the seat. Why we use gender as a ticket for not helping others, I have seen many similar incidents, there are few of us who will leave our seat for old generation, pregnant ladies or the ills. Why do we raise the flag of Feminism when we don’t help each other.
  4. As a kid, I have been always hearing this “Women is the enemy of women” which I soon realised was very true, I have seen a lot of women judging the lifestyle, dresses, job schedule etc of other women and then we expect not to be judged. Before stopping any man from doing this why don’t we stop this among ourselves.

Equality and respect are important for any gender, everyone has a right to get it not only from the opposite genders but from the same gender as well. Let’s make society a better place to live in.

Be Yourself, Everybody Else Is Taken…

New Year is on the verge of hitting us, everyone is heading toward a new year with zeal, enthusiasm and new resolutions. Each one of us has different plan and expectations for the coming year to be happy. Yes, some of us are lying lazily on the bed and saying no we don’t have any plans but deep down we all hope for something good. Here is one such plan – “What if we choose to be what we are this year, what if we decide to live every coming moment as we are.”

Of late, a lot of people are parroting others and what they see on social media. We really chase other’s success and envy their life but what if it’s just a mirage and that thing is not going to make us happy. It is really good to idealize or follow someone footsteps but becoming some other person, forgetting your own personal identity is a bad idea. Most of us, think a lot about what society will say, what our friends are going to think before making any decision of our life. Many of us choose our life profession, life partners, hobbies, outings, clothes and even words on the thought process of society. Every other person we meet says – “Society is a hypocrite, so we have to do it”, but who makes society. If each one of us is so upset with society why we(each one of us) don’t try to become what we are, the society will in itself become a better place to live.

At end of the day, what all matters is, “Are you happy?” , “Can you sleep peacefully at night?” Thinking about what society will say only burdens us with unnecessary thoughts, frustration, depression and you tend to make decisions that you’ll probably regret later. Being yourself gives you the opportunity to make you explore yourself and realise what keeps you happy, without being judged. It kills the fear of society and it’s perception. You don’t have to worry about their opinion on you because it doesn’t matter. This is your life and you only live it once. Make every second of your life count. You may receive your victory cup a little later but that would be your journey, receiving success in someone else journey will give you smile just for a few seconds.

The day you meet “God of death”, you can say I might have done some bad deeds, some sins, some mistakes but I try living every moment who I am and that actually made me count some good moments of my life, that kept the human in me alive. Therefore, despite all the bad stuff I am sure, I would have ended up doing something remarkably good. 

“It sounds so simple, but if you just be yourself, you’re different than anyone else” 

What Is The Power Of Words?

A word is the smallest element that can be uttered in isolation with an objective or practical meaning. Words are the source of magic and capable of both causing injury and remedying it. Words can be used as constructive or destructive, with words we can attain power, make people laugh, create joy and destroy hearts.

A politician, comedian, writer and many more are growing because of the apt use of their words. There are numbers of song lyrics, poems, dialogues etc which touched our soul or changed our perception at some point of time in life.

  • Choose Your Words Wisely

According to some polls, whatever we deliver impacts our mind, positive statements develop positive outset and vice versa. For example- If you keep on saying to your mind – “I am alone”, it will make you start feeling lonesome and anxious.

Using negative words -can’t, shouldn’t, won’t, fat, lazy, sleepy makes you look negative to the world and especially to you yourself, find out the positive of these words. For example- If you are not able to do some work, instead of saying- “I can’t do it, I need more time” say I am doing research on this and it’s under process or just tell the approach you are following to that task.

When you whine about life or other stuff, people perceive you have a problem with everything which may not exactly be true. Who do you like most – “The people who compliment you and tell you about interesting happening stories or the people who always bitch about others and complain about life”. Choose who do you like?

words

  • Don’t Let Your Words Hurt Others

One of my friends used to narrate me with a story- “Once upon a time, there was a Tree outside of a big house, the owner of the house was very upset with the tree because it used to block the sunlight into his house, Frustrated owner cannot cut the tree because of “Save Tree” rules of the town. The upset owner used to utter ill words to the tree everytime he passes near the tree. As a result, after some days the tree falls itself. There was no rain, no thunder, no strong wind and the tree fall itself because of owners abusing. ” In the same way, our words are equal to the sword and capable of killing someone. There are many people out there in this world who are a victim of mocking, body shamming and criticism because of the words we choose for them. Many of them are under depression and many are thinking of suicide.

Writer’s Tip – Your words can do wonders in the world. A long back, I read- “Compliment one person every day, It’ll make their day”. This is one of the things, I do daily and it really does wonders.

Your Positivity Can Turn You To The Happiest Soul…

Your Positivity can turn you to the happiest soul” – I wrote this quote when I was in 10th grade(2010) but could actually realise it’s meaning this year. Have you seen some people who are very positive, smiling, cheerful and always full of energy? I always use to wonder how those people have a magnetic personality and I get magnified or attracted to them always, now I realise what enchants us is their positive aura. Moreover, I always wonder why we humans are always attracted to negative thoughts, negative deeds and have a negative perception towards life.

I believe universe actually reverts us what we are – “If we are positive we attract positivity and if we are negative then we attract negativity“. The universe always gives you what we desire and how we behave. “Life is like a boomerang, Be ready to catch what you throw”. With a positive mindset, we can find a solution to every challenge of life without disturbing our mental health. Whilst negative thinking or a negative attitude will turn into a negative situation. Moreover, people with a negative mindset finds the problem with every solution even if the situation is in their favour, Remember as a kid, you always felt that there is more food in your sibling’s bowl that was just your negative attitude. The negative attitude will always make you feel that grass is greener on the other side and you will be deprived or miss out what you actually possess in your life.

Your attitude always influences people,  a good attitude always results in good interactions at the interview, work, social gatherings etc. As I mentioned above, positive attitude and talks have very enchanting and magnetic feature while your negative attitude will always put you in trouble, make you lose your calm and you will find yourself trapped in the chains of frustration, depression or aggression. I have seen a number of people blaming luck as soon as they encounter mishap because of their negativity but maybe luck is just giving them a better chance to move towards a better path.

You can overcome all the roadblocks with your positive attitude. Try to find ways to build happiness and positive emotions into your life, Do whatever makes you feel positive –  hitting the gym, meditation, writing, travelling or singing. We are addicted to our thoughts. We can not change anything if we can not change the way we think. Each and every coin has two faces, try to look for the rosy face of every situation. Stop overthinking and comparing yourself with anyone out in this world. Avoid negative people and stop feeding negativity to your soul, it will make you weak and unhappy.

It all begins and ends in your mind. what you give power to, has power over you if you allow it.

Positive

 

In The End, It’s All About?

I don’t want to start this blog with the outcome of any process either Success or Failure. I want to start it with the outset of the journey that we traverse to achieve anything in our life. It can be any simpler process which can include driving from home to office, appearing in a semester, looking for a job, working on a project, friendship, relationship or your music classes.

When you get into any process of life, do you always plan for the result – that this friendship will last 10 years, I will score highest marks this semester, I will just get passing marks this time or I will just learn to sing 5 songs etc. The truth is not every time we plan for the result, sometimes we even change our plans in the middle and sometimes we even give up in the middle. e.g. Drop School or College, Leave job, Skip gym, Leave music classes in between and much more.

In the journey of every milestone, we make a lot of memories, spend a lot of moments of happiness, laughter, joy, tears, sorrows etc. We learn a lot of stuff, we develop new ideas, work on them. Sometimes we learn how to work in a team or an individual, we learn about our weaknesses and our strengths. We learn about our priorities and choice. We learn habits and technical stuff.

Success – Success is rejoicing. It comes with a lot of happiness, opportunities, good luck and blessings. After getting success, we simply move to other parts of life and we even forget it in a few days. It gives you more comfort, if you have failed before and that too goes away with the glimpse of time. The moment of happiness is short lived.

Failure – Failure comes with grief and disappointment, but why Failure gives you disappointment? All this while with a lot of good things, just because it ends resulting in failure we forgot all those leanings. We forget experience always comes with something new, something different, something you never felt and Something you never lived. But that’s life my friends, “Nothing is constant except change“. The truth is -” One can say sorry but can’t change the story“.

Failure gives you the learning to the road of success. One should learn the ideas from failure’s that how to invade success next time. Use it as a key of strength to unlock your potential you have within. Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny, our greatest success is not in never failing but in rising up every time we fail because Some skills are only learnt in storms. Moreover, we do the same thing in our day to day life but we forget these things at bigger steps of our life.

There are the number of successful peoples who have failed more than once – Thomas Edison(Invented the bulb in 1000 attempts), Colonel Sanders(Founder of KFC who failed 1009 times).

“Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough” – Elon Musk

So In the end, It’s not about Success or failure. It’s all about the lessons we learnt from each experience, from countless moments that are going to last with you for whole life. In the end, Life goes on, life doesn’t stop, time doesn’t stop, learning never go waste and hard work never fails. You will achieve your success tomorrow or the day next.

#Success #Failure #Life #journey #Happiness #FindingYourself

The Joy of Being Average/Mediocre

ummm… Being average, If someone called you “average,” you probably wouldn’t take it as a compliment. Throughout my life everyone including my friends, teachers and family has asked me “To be the flamingo in a flock of pigeons” but why I have to be flamingo, why not a pigeon. Maybe I just want to be a pigeon. What’s wrong in being average?

Honestly, the first question which hits my mind from term “AVERAGE” is – what is the definition of average? I think,
Average = (Lower limit+ Upper limit)/2

What is Average?

This definition was very clear in school and college where scoring 50 % was average taking 0 as lower limit and 100 as the upper limit.
But in life what’s the lower limit and what’s the upper limit. Suppose I earn 30000 in a month, now who will define that it’s a mediocre salary or outstanding salary. For somebody who is begging on the traffic light -it’s more than an outstanding salary, for Bill gates it’s equivalent to a single penny. Yes, I can read your mind my reader – “It’s a mediocre salary for common people like us” but who said you are a common person, what is the definition of common??

I think being average is the most misunderstood term in our society. I am 5 feet 5 inches, this is average height in India, but in Australia average height is 5’9″, so basically If I visit there I will be below average in height.

Let’s move to sports “Ishant Sharma” bowler in Indian Cricket Team will definitely be considered as the above average because he had defeated a lot of people in the population of millions to reach that position but If we compare him to all the bowlers of their Nations cricket team, then he might be the average bowler.

Accepting The Fact

More than 80% of the population think they are more than average, Although according to research 80-85% of humans are born as average. It’s a harsh reality of life.
This isn’t a good or bad thing because there is a vast array of qualities that can be measured. Everyone you meet will know something you don’t. Everyone’s skill levels will vary. Everyone’s personality will vary. We all are average in some aspects and we should start accepting the fact.

we are all unique, just like everyone else is. Enjoy your uniqueness and “just be yourself”. Trust me, there are a number of perks of being average –

1. No one expects much from you – Suppose I am 3 rated employee in my office, so my manager will never expect outstanding work from me.

2.No Performance Pressure – The expectations we have from Virat as captain of Indian Cricket Team and from Ashwin as a player of the team are totally different. So the performance pressure on Virat is much higher than on Ashwin.

3. Easily Appreciated – When I was in school, my parents expected 60% from me but luckily I secured 80%, When I told this to my father he asked me to check my name again in the result, to which I responded – “I did, and your name is mentioned in father’s name . That’s was the day my father gifted new mobile to me.

Many more…

Yes, It’s good to be mediocre. There is nothing wrong in being a pigeon, it’s all about the perspective. “No Jealousy, No Competitions, I have to win from myself, I have to lose from myself. I have my own journey, my own destination. WHO I AM? – An Average Person”. Break free from that box! Feel the Joy

average - hello

Finding Yourself!!

Of late, everyone is seeking the meaning of true happiness. In the fast-paced life of today, we have definitely reached the success of era, but the question that has always travelled in my mind from school to college to job is “What is True Happiness?”.Was it scoring good grades in school? Having fun in college? Working and earning hard in the job? or a lazy life. Four months back, whenever I used to look back at my life, I always found nothing, nothing means nothing much except some good scores. Once, I read an article saying ”When we die, we see a visual clip of seven minutes as a summary of our whole life” which raises a consciousness in me, “What would I see in the visual clip?” Honestly, it was very boring. We have just become machines, bookworms or work worms. I don’t support becoming lazy, skipping work, piling up the things. I believe in living for yourself, live for what you like, love what you do.

I wanted to be a writer but I did B.Tech. 4 years of hardship with 77% for my parent’s sake, I was crying for a job matching my profile. Despite scoring high grades, I struggled for 4 months and then got placed in a not-so-good place for my talent exposure. From day one, I was sure I did not want to do this job. But since I had no other option, I kept pushing myself into it with the daily struggle of 8 AM to 5 PM. Nine hours of my life daily were not worth spending there. The work sometimes frustrated me, I tried locking up myself in the washroom and crying, but the falling tears weren’t of any help either.

Sometimes, I even imagined my future as a “manager in seven years” but still there was no smile on my face.  Although I was working hard, getting appreciation, I always questioned myself, why I am doing this to myself, why do I not search for another job or do writing, but we humans are too lazy to stand up for ourselves. We keep ourselves in hot water for this monotonous life.  The time keeps on moving and we float with the waves of time.

One day, I woke up with a severe headache. I tried to push myself up from the bed, but I fell. The fever had gripped my body completely. My roommates took me to the hospital. Next day, I woke up with a glucose drip in my hand with cold droplets moving in my blood. My parents were sitting beside me, with lots of medicines. I was suffering from dengue. Seven days and with a minus 5 kg of my weight on the hospital bed, I realised life is mortal, and I was still not ready with that visual clip of life. Those seven days in the hospital gave me some worst memories of people dying which made me, even more, determined to live and come out stronger and live life on my own terms. Those seven days in hospital followed by ten days of bed rest gave me the time to reconstruct my life with bricks of happiness.

To refresh myself, I gave myself a break and travelled to Udaipur. I left for Udaipur on Friday after office and reached there by Saturday morning. Udaipur, the City of Lakes, was a complete bliss with small lakes, serenity, small mountains, and most importantly, lots of peace. Travelling always cheers me up and removes all the negative vibes. That day I realised life is mesmerising. The rain in Udaipur fastened my heartbeat, the eternal peace, chirping birds, deep water, scenic beauty was all that I was searching for my whole life. I visited all the places and left the city on Sunday night. Monday morning, I was back in the office with positive vibes.

I started studying after office, it took fifteen days and I found a new job matching my profile. Yes, it was not so easy, but I put my heart into it. Lots of learning and countless sleepless nights later, I finally found myself with a job offer. And, fifteen days later I was in my new office. And, finally, I was doing work that I was always looking for. The technology that I had learnt in my four years of graduation was finally being put to use.

I keep my passion alive and do what I always wanted to do, that is, write after office hours. Yes, I am not a well-known writer because it is just the beginning, the beginning of my era. I have enjoyed many more trips after that – one to Nainital, Mukhteshwar, Ranikhet and another to Manali and Rohtang Pass. I am happy with what I am doing.

With time I have realised that true happiness is finding yourself. I spend nine and half hours in the office, two hours in writing and weekends are for me, for all the fun. I save 30% of my salary for the future, 20% for travelling and 50% in monthly expenses. I am still not ready for my 7 min visual clip, but yes I will be ready soon. I am not sure if there is something like this visual clip, but I am sure if I am going to live a long life then post twenty years, when I will turn back to look at the past, I will be smiling and saying that there is a lot more to go.

One should not run from themselves because life is like a Barf ka gola. It is nothing but a crushed ice ball soaked in a sweet syrup with a variety of colours and flavours with lemon and salt sprinkled all over it. You have to enjoy every flavour. Crush your sorrows, enjoy the sugar syrups of your life, taste the salt and lemon in your life and search for your inspiration.

-Tushita Raghuvanshi