How to Stop Overthinking?

Most of us are dwelling back and forth in the memories of past and worries of future. With rising stress, we start feeling lonely, frustrated and depressed. At that time, we just want to pack your bags and want to run away from that place. Is it with me or Are you facing some problems? Let’s start finding a solution to it because obviously we can’t pack our bags and go somewhere, ultimately our this job is earning bread and house rent for us, we are bound to it to fulfil our goals.

Stop Blaming And Forgive Yourself

Let’s us move step by step to overcome this challenge of life. Many of us are locking ourselves in the chains of regret and guilt because of the choices we have made in the past. We are continuously blaming ourselves.  You are human and humans are bound to make mistakes. Maybe your decisions are worse than others but this is your life you cannot spoil it based on some decisions.

“Imagine you are walking on the subway with a cup of coffee but suddenly you hit a pole because of the crowd and end up spilling half of your coffee. So, now will you keep the regret of half spill coffee throughout the life or will enjoy the other half of life, This is the same as Life, Do you want to end another half of your life regretting about the mistakes you made in the first half of your life”.

It’s the time to forgive yourself and work on a better version of you.

Overcome fear Of The Outcome

I always had this issue of overthinking and analysing about the future, I keep on analysing all the permutation and combinations of winning in life. Sometimes, the fear of losing and not fulfilling my goals made me upset or make me panic while reaching my goal. In fact, The whole world has seen ” The God of Cricket – Sachin Tendulkar” at his nervous 90’s, so who are we, everyone can have that fear but do you realise that our this fear often stops us from reaching our goal. So, don’t you think, you should stop putting yourself in this hot water?

Choose Between Belief and Reality 

As a kid, I was very scared of ghosts, some of us are still scared of them. Do you remember the last time when you saw a horror movie and you were a little terrified while sleeping at night and you felt that there can be a ghost in your room? Although, you are aware that there are no ghosts in real but still it haunts us. This is what belief is, some of us overthink about our beliefs which may or may not exist. We leave the door of reality and choose to live in a room of belief.

Keep Yourself Busy 

It’s a very old saying -” The empty mind is the devil’s workshop”. Free mind welcomes a number of thoughts. Keep yourself busy with work, goals, friends or whatever you like. There is a number of options available these days to keep yourself busy which may also help you to enhance your skills, you can join some courses you like or watch some web series.

Share Your Heart Out

Share your thoughts, problems, guilts and problems with someone you trust, sometimes it makes us feel relief. Generally, I pen down my thoughts to release myself from the burden of thoughts.

Writer’s Tip – If half spill cup of coffee affects you so much then buy a new cup of coffee for yourself. Create a world which keeps you happy, you have all the rights to change the things which don’t keep you happy. A world with your choice of office, job, apartment, song, party, person, friend or city which makes you feel happy.

Respect Women!

This post is not to raise the flag of “FEMINISM”. “Women are not a commodity and deserve respect” is said by every FEMINIST but there is some more which is required for women to maintain it’s status and self-respect in society. This post is trying to explain the fact with certain incidents, There are few incidents which made me write it –

  1. Last day, I was talking to a friend and he said-“ I don’t trust girls at all, They are “Gossip Queens” and gossip about everything“. With his statement, I gave myself food of thought who do I know who gossips and I realised – Yes, there are some of the girls who are gossip queens and there are some of the boys who are gossip kings. The crown deserves to both the genders, why do we think that this trait belongs to this particular gender.
  2. Similarly few backs one of the people I was talking mentioned – “Women doing jobs is the reason for increasing divorces in India because with the job they don’t have time to look after their home and family“. Moreover, as they are empowered they found it very easy to take divorce and settle their life of their own. Well, I think the reason for divorce these days is the growth in society, these days they people don’t tie themselves in an abusive, toxic or insecure relationship. It has nothing to do with women doing the job.
  3. Last Month, I was travelling in the metro, two women’s boards into the metro, one of them were carrying the baby and one was a fit and fine youngster, there was only one vacant seat. The fit women ran and grab the seat then one man stood and gave the seat to women with a baby but none of the women stood up to give her the seat. Why we use gender as a ticket for not helping others, I have seen many similar incidents, there are few of us who will leave our seat for old generation, pregnant ladies or the ills. Why do we raise the flag of Feminism when we don’t help each other.
  4. As a kid, I have been always hearing this “Women is the enemy of women” which I soon realised was very true, I have seen a lot of women judging the lifestyle, dresses, job schedule etc of other women and then we expect not to be judged. Before stopping any man from doing this why don’t we stop this among ourselves.

Equality and respect are important for any gender, everyone has a right to get it not only from the opposite genders but from the same gender as well. Let’s make society a better place to live in.

Be Yourself, Everybody Else Is Taken…

New Year is on the verge of hitting us, everyone is heading toward a new year with zeal, enthusiasm and new resolutions. Each one of us has different plan and expectations for the coming year to be happy. Yes, some of us are lying lazily on the bed and saying no we don’t have any plans but deep down we all hope for something good. Here is one such plan – “What if we choose to be what we are this year, what if we decide to live every coming moment as we are.”

Of late, a lot of people are parroting others and what they see on social media. We really chase other’s success and envy their life but what if it’s just a mirage and that thing is not going to make us happy. It is really good to idealize or follow someone footsteps but becoming some other person, forgetting your own personal identity is a bad idea. Most of us, think a lot about what society will say, what our friends are going to think before making any decision of our life. Many of us choose our life profession, life partners, hobbies, outings, clothes and even words on the thought process of society. Every other person we meet says – “Society is a hypocrite, so we have to do it”, but who makes society. If each one of us is so upset with society why we(each one of us) don’t try to become what we are, the society will in itself become a better place to live.

At end of the day, what all matters is, “Are you happy?” , “Can you sleep peacefully at night?” Thinking about what society will say only burdens us with unnecessary thoughts, frustration, depression and you tend to make decisions that you’ll probably regret later. Being yourself gives you the opportunity to make you explore yourself and realise what keeps you happy, without being judged. It kills the fear of society and it’s perception. You don’t have to worry about their opinion on you because it doesn’t matter. This is your life and you only live it once. Make every second of your life count. You may receive your victory cup a little later but that would be your journey, receiving success in someone else journey will give you smile just for a few seconds.

The day you meet “God of death”, you can say I might have done some bad deeds, some sins, some mistakes but I try living every moment who I am and that actually made me count some good moments of my life, that kept the human in me alive. Therefore, despite all the bad stuff I am sure, I would have ended up doing something remarkably good. 

“It sounds so simple, but if you just be yourself, you’re different than anyone else” 

What Is The Power Of Words?

A word is the smallest element that can be uttered in isolation with an objective or practical meaning. Words are the source of magic and capable of both causing injury and remedying it. Words can be used as constructive or destructive, with words we can attain power, make people laugh, create joy and destroy hearts.

A politician, comedian, writer and many more are growing because of the apt use of their words. There are numbers of song lyrics, poems, dialogues etc which touched our soul or changed our perception at some point of time in life.

  • Choose Your Words Wisely

According to some polls, whatever we deliver impacts our mind, positive statements develop positive outset and vice versa. For example- If you keep on saying to your mind – “I am alone”, it will make you start feeling lonesome and anxious.

Using negative words -can’t, shouldn’t, won’t, fat, lazy, sleepy makes you look negative to the world and especially to you yourself, find out the positive of these words. For example- If you are not able to do some work, instead of saying- “I can’t do it, I need more time” say I am doing research on this and it’s under process or just tell the approach you are following to that task.

When you whine about life or other stuff, people perceive you have a problem with everything which may not exactly be true. Who do you like most – “The people who compliment you and tell you about interesting happening stories or the people who always bitch about others and complain about life”. Choose who do you like?

words

  • Don’t Let Your Words Hurt Others

One of my friends used to narrate me with a story- “Once upon a time, there was a Tree outside of a big house, the owner of the house was very upset with the tree because it used to block the sunlight into his house, Frustrated owner cannot cut the tree because of “Save Tree” rules of the town. The upset owner used to utter ill words to the tree everytime he passes near the tree. As a result, after some days the tree falls itself. There was no rain, no thunder, no strong wind and the tree fall itself because of owners abusing. ” In the same way, our words are equal to the sword and capable of killing someone. There are many people out there in this world who are a victim of mocking, body shamming and criticism because of the words we choose for them. Many of them are under depression and many are thinking of suicide.

Writer’s Tip – Your words can do wonders in the world. A long back, I read- “Compliment one person every day, It’ll make their day”. This is one of the things, I do daily and it really does wonders.

How has been 2018 so far?

300 days of this year have passed, 65 more to go. Wow, It’s festive season – Diwali, Thanks Giving, Christmas all the festivals are around. So today, let’s have a walk back on the journey of the memory lane of this year to know –“How this year was, what majors are yet to be accomplished, How far have you reached with the resolutions of this year, what will be the plans of the coming year. “. Let’s have a look at mine first then you take some time to think about yours.

This Year, I have got the subscription to Amazon Prime, Netflix, hotstar premium, so we have killed much time on movies and web series. I have signed up for various food applications – Uber eats, Zomato, Swiggy and three more, thus had a good time with food, In fact, My friends have nicknamed me “Swiggy”. This year, I have become the victim of PUBG and weight gain. I have travelled more and refrained myself from using social media apps. I was planning to start meditation and yoga, be fit and in shape but end up eating more brownies and have donated my enough salary to food applications.

Life hit me hard with some lessons and sudden unexpected changes this year. So, I got distracted very soon from my career, health and learning goals. The mental stress of mine has pushed me to move in a different direction and that direction was the direction looking for peace and comfort. My comfort zone resulted in a delay of the accomplishment of my targets. It took a long time to buckle up and realise that the year is on the verge of its end and I am still in the middle of some targets.

Disappointment and remorse over anything will now not result into any good outcome“. So, I am going to mention the positive side for all the people who are disheartened like me over unfulfilled targets of this year I might have behaved like a spoiled brat but “I discovered how to appreciate myself, how to dance like no one is watching, how to relish this very moment, how to shut down the past and dead windows of yesterday, how to cut off from negative and fake people, how to prioritize yourself. I have got a good control over my weakness of losing temper. I have scrutinized myself to be a better individual for me“.

In a nutshell, Considering all the virtues and vices, this year I might have not grown into economic terms, health, shape or in education but I have learnt the most important chapters of life, I am on the track of peace, happiness and my dreams that will have a profound effect on my future. Most important thing is 300 days might have passed, but there are 65 more, It’s the time not to waste these precious days and come up with quality moments with the sense of relief of fulfilled aspirations, Don’t go for any packed deadlines but at least start with few of them because “SOMETHING IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOTHING”. As in, you may not achieve a fit body in 65 days but a few pounds will also come up with a joy. A spoon full of success can motivate you to achieve a bowl full of success. 

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The Joy of Being Average/Mediocre

ummm… Being average, If someone called you “average,” you probably wouldn’t take it as a compliment. Throughout my life everyone including my friends, teachers and family has asked me “To be the flamingo in a flock of pigeons” but why I have to be flamingo, why not a pigeon. Maybe I just want to be a pigeon. What’s wrong in being average?

Honestly, the first question which hits my mind from term “AVERAGE” is – what is the definition of average? I think,
Average = (Lower limit+ Upper limit)/2

What is Average?

This definition was very clear in school and college where scoring 50 % was average taking 0 as lower limit and 100 as the upper limit.
But in life what’s the lower limit and what’s the upper limit. Suppose I earn 30000 in a month, now who will define that it’s a mediocre salary or outstanding salary. For somebody who is begging on the traffic light -it’s more than an outstanding salary, for Bill gates it’s equivalent to a single penny. Yes, I can read your mind my reader – “It’s a mediocre salary for common people like us” but who said you are a common person, what is the definition of common??

I think being average is the most misunderstood term in our society. I am 5 feet 5 inches, this is average height in India, but in Australia average height is 5’9″, so basically If I visit there I will be below average in height.

Let’s move to sports “Ishant Sharma” bowler in Indian Cricket Team will definitely be considered as the above average because he had defeated a lot of people in the population of millions to reach that position but If we compare him to all the bowlers of their Nations cricket team, then he might be the average bowler.

Accepting The Fact

More than 80% of the population think they are more than average, Although according to research 80-85% of humans are born as average. It’s a harsh reality of life.
This isn’t a good or bad thing because there is a vast array of qualities that can be measured. Everyone you meet will know something you don’t. Everyone’s skill levels will vary. Everyone’s personality will vary. We all are average in some aspects and we should start accepting the fact.

we are all unique, just like everyone else is. Enjoy your uniqueness and “just be yourself”. Trust me, there are a number of perks of being average –

1. No one expects much from you – Suppose I am 3 rated employee in my office, so my manager will never expect outstanding work from me.

2.No Performance Pressure – The expectations we have from Virat as captain of Indian Cricket Team and from Ashwin as a player of the team are totally different. So the performance pressure on Virat is much higher than on Ashwin.

3. Easily Appreciated – When I was in school, my parents expected 60% from me but luckily I secured 80%, When I told this to my father he asked me to check my name again in the result, to which I responded – “I did, and your name is mentioned in father’s name . That’s was the day my father gifted new mobile to me.

Many more…

Yes, It’s good to be mediocre. There is nothing wrong in being a pigeon, it’s all about the perspective. “No Jealousy, No Competitions, I have to win from myself, I have to lose from myself. I have my own journey, my own destination. WHO I AM? – An Average Person”. Break free from that box! Feel the Joy

average - hello