How to Stop Overthinking?

Most of us are dwelling back and forth in the memories of past and worries of future. With rising stress, we start feeling lonely, frustrated and depressed. At that time, we just want to pack your bags and want to run away from that place. Is it with me or Are you facing some problems? Let’s start finding a solution to it because obviously we can’t pack our bags and go somewhere, ultimately our this job is earning bread and house rent for us, we are bound to it to fulfil our goals.

Stop Blaming And Forgive Yourself

Let’s us move step by step to overcome this challenge of life. Many of us are locking ourselves in the chains of regret and guilt because of the choices we have made in the past. We are continuously blaming ourselves.  You are human and humans are bound to make mistakes. Maybe your decisions are worse than others but this is your life you cannot spoil it based on some decisions.

“Imagine you are walking on the subway with a cup of coffee but suddenly you hit a pole because of the crowd and end up spilling half of your coffee. So, now will you keep the regret of half spill coffee throughout the life or will enjoy the other half of life, This is the same as Life, Do you want to end another half of your life regretting about the mistakes you made in the first half of your life”.

It’s the time to forgive yourself and work on a better version of you.

Overcome fear Of The Outcome

I always had this issue of overthinking and analysing about the future, I keep on analysing all the permutation and combinations of winning in life. Sometimes, the fear of losing and not fulfilling my goals made me upset or make me panic while reaching my goal. In fact, The whole world has seen ” The God of Cricket – Sachin Tendulkar” at his nervous 90’s, so who are we, everyone can have that fear but do you realise that our this fear often stops us from reaching our goal. So, don’t you think, you should stop putting yourself in this hot water?

Choose Between Belief and Reality 

As a kid, I was very scared of ghosts, some of us are still scared of them. Do you remember the last time when you saw a horror movie and you were a little terrified while sleeping at night and you felt that there can be a ghost in your room? Although, you are aware that there are no ghosts in real but still it haunts us. This is what belief is, some of us overthink about our beliefs which may or may not exist. We leave the door of reality and choose to live in a room of belief.

Keep Yourself Busy 

It’s a very old saying -” The empty mind is the devil’s workshop”. Free mind welcomes a number of thoughts. Keep yourself busy with work, goals, friends or whatever you like. There is a number of options available these days to keep yourself busy which may also help you to enhance your skills, you can join some courses you like or watch some web series.

Share Your Heart Out

Share your thoughts, problems, guilts and problems with someone you trust, sometimes it makes us feel relief. Generally, I pen down my thoughts to release myself from the burden of thoughts.

Writer’s Tip – If half spill cup of coffee affects you so much then buy a new cup of coffee for yourself. Create a world which keeps you happy, you have all the rights to change the things which don’t keep you happy. A world with your choice of office, job, apartment, song, party, person, friend or city which makes you feel happy.

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Respect Women!

This post is not to raise the flag of “FEMINISM”. “Women are not a commodity and deserve respect” is said by every FEMINIST but there is some more which is required for women to maintain it’s status and self-respect in society. This post is trying to explain the fact with certain incidents, There are few incidents which made me write it –

  1. Last day, I was talking to a friend and he said-“ I don’t trust girls at all, They are “Gossip Queens” and gossip about everything“. With his statement, I gave myself food of thought who do I know who gossips and I realised – Yes, there are some of the girls who are gossip queens and there are some of the boys who are gossip kings. The crown deserves to both the genders, why do we think that this trait belongs to this particular gender.
  2. Similarly few backs one of the people I was talking mentioned – “Women doing jobs is the reason for increasing divorces in India because with the job they don’t have time to look after their home and family“. Moreover, as they are empowered they found it very easy to take divorce and settle their life of their own. Well, I think the reason for divorce these days is the growth in society, these days they people don’t tie themselves in an abusive, toxic or insecure relationship. It has nothing to do with women doing the job.
  3. Last Month, I was travelling in the metro, two women’s boards into the metro, one of them were carrying the baby and one was a fit and fine youngster, there was only one vacant seat. The fit women ran and grab the seat then one man stood and gave the seat to women with a baby but none of the women stood up to give her the seat. Why we use gender as a ticket for not helping others, I have seen many similar incidents, there are few of us who will leave our seat for old generation, pregnant ladies or the ills. Why do we raise the flag of Feminism when we don’t help each other.
  4. As a kid, I have been always hearing this “Women is the enemy of women” which I soon realised was very true, I have seen a lot of women judging the lifestyle, dresses, job schedule etc of other women and then we expect not to be judged. Before stopping any man from doing this why don’t we stop this among ourselves.

Equality and respect are important for any gender, everyone has a right to get it not only from the opposite genders but from the same gender as well. Let’s make society a better place to live in.

Be Yourself, Everybody Else Is Taken…

New Year is on the verge of hitting us, everyone is heading toward a new year with zeal, enthusiasm and new resolutions. Each one of us has different plan and expectations for the coming year to be happy. Yes, some of us are lying lazily on the bed and saying no we don’t have any plans but deep down we all hope for something good. Here is one such plan – “What if we choose to be what we are this year, what if we decide to live every coming moment as we are.”

Of late, a lot of people are parroting others and what they see on social media. We really chase other’s success and envy their life but what if it’s just a mirage and that thing is not going to make us happy. It is really good to idealize or follow someone footsteps but becoming some other person, forgetting your own personal identity is a bad idea. Most of us, think a lot about what society will say, what our friends are going to think before making any decision of our life. Many of us choose our life profession, life partners, hobbies, outings, clothes and even words on the thought process of society. Every other person we meet says – “Society is a hypocrite, so we have to do it”, but who makes society. If each one of us is so upset with society why we(each one of us) don’t try to become what we are, the society will in itself become a better place to live.

At end of the day, what all matters is, “Are you happy?” , “Can you sleep peacefully at night?” Thinking about what society will say only burdens us with unnecessary thoughts, frustration, depression and you tend to make decisions that you’ll probably regret later. Being yourself gives you the opportunity to make you explore yourself and realise what keeps you happy, without being judged. It kills the fear of society and it’s perception. You don’t have to worry about their opinion on you because it doesn’t matter. This is your life and you only live it once. Make every second of your life count. You may receive your victory cup a little later but that would be your journey, receiving success in someone else journey will give you smile just for a few seconds.

The day you meet “God of death”, you can say I might have done some bad deeds, some sins, some mistakes but I try living every moment who I am and that actually made me count some good moments of my life, that kept the human in me alive. Therefore, despite all the bad stuff I am sure, I would have ended up doing something remarkably good. 

“It sounds so simple, but if you just be yourself, you’re different than anyone else” 

A GENERATION THAT “NEVER SETTLES”…..

“We are lonely, hopeless and desperate for love” – “F.R.I.E.N.D.S”

With the tagline of mobile phone “Never Settle”, our’s the generation which has stopped settling for anything. My father has always told me – “His generation used to believe in settling for what they have, they wanted to earn their livelihood, were ready to compromise and live peacefully with one or few people” but our generation wants to earn to expend and always want to explore more opportunity.

We are the generation exploited by impatience, rapid technological growth and lack of planning. We are running for materialistic possessions, we lack steadiness and want instant food, instant money transfer, instant hook-up partner. We are creating a fake world around us, let’s name it a world of “SOCIAL MEDIA” or “SHOSHAN(exploit) MEDIA”, everything we do revolves around the people of this world and what we all try is to please this world without even knowing what we actually want. In fact, we are selling our peace of eating, travelling or living a moment because of this world.

  • We thrive for numbers – “Numbers in bank accounts and numbers of followers“. With numbers, I know a person who had 10k followers on Instagram and committed suicide, no one was aware of what the reason was, so basically we have people to talk to but we don’t have people who can listen to our battles.
  • Secondly, The generation of late 80’s and 90’s have seen technology growing with themselves, that’s why We are the generation who are stuck between superstitions and technology“. We have grown from the era of love to tinder, with the era of groups of friends in summer vacation to Facebook, from photo albums to Instagram, from an honest smile to Whatsapp smilies. So basically, we are still confused in between, what we like most among them two. We are still confused between our love for mountains or the fast pacing city.
  • Most of the youth are living alone, they are so much into their independence hence they fear commitment and compromising their space. On one hand, they want to love and on other, they have trust issues.

One of my psychologist friends says – Some are under pressure because their parents bully them by comparing them to others, some are in a war of jealousy and race of being better with their surroundings.
Writer’s Tip – There is no hard and fast advice to come out of it but we should try to clear out the clouds of confusion and create a real world where we don’t feel alone as soon as we put the cell phone on the table. Try to come of out of this world – “Travel more and click less, love more and think less, smile more and tweet less, build trust more and judge less”.

“Alive” or “Just Breathing”?

What is the meaning of “Alive”??? According to the dictionary, the answer is – having life, living, existing, not dead or lifeless, in a state of action, in force or operation, active.
According to me, this is not what alive actually means! The question is still not answered properly, So my friends, I ask this question to you – Are you alive? I believe, most of you will come up with an answer – Yes, I am alive.
But when I asked this question, Have you thought what is your definition of Alive?

According to me If you wake up in the morning and sleep at night, and have zero time to scrutinise yourself, to follow your passion, to travel across the world, to love someone, to just sit and analyse the actual dilemmas of your life and much more, then my friend “YOU ARE NOT ALIVE“. The drums of your veins and heart are good to prove you as a living thing but not your existence. Take a deep breath, and think – Are you surviving or living? Are you one more HUMAN ROBOT?

Do you remember the last trip plan you made and it failed? Do you remember you planned for the gym/yoga class? Do you remember you wanted to join the music/dance class? You wanted to learn that new technology, you had a dream of changing this job, your idea of proposing to your crush. All your ideas that failed made you dead bit by bit. You might be following the same dead monotonous routine from weeks, months or years. Why don’t you wake up?
Now, my dear fella, I have one more question for you – WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE?
Last week I questioned this with many people surrounding me and got the interesting responses, I have shortlisted some interesting responses- The strings of my Guitar makes me feel alive, PUBG(Game) and hot tea make me feel alive,I feel alive when I see those beautiful, flowing rivers, chirping birds and snowfall. That cool breeze makes me feel alive. The moment I finish my hill trek makes me feel alive, I feel alive when my program runs in one go without any error.

I evaluated all the answers and concluded – What makes us alive are – the purpose of being a better person than who we are, the hope of attaining good, the love of following our passion, thrive to fulfil our dreams, the zeal in our heart. So just take a pause, break the glass ceiling you created for yourself and GO LIVE! Issue yourself a life ticket and “BE ALIVE”. Stop striving for peace and prioritise your passion. Explore YOURSELF.

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! –Dr. Seus

Just feel the below lines from the movie – Zindagi Na Milegi Dubara
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

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