The Problem with Expecting life to be fair

“Life is not fair. Get used to it” – Bill Gates

Every morning we wake up with a hope of having a great day but half of the time it doesn’t go as planned or meets our expectations. When it doesn’t go as per our plans we feel remorse and wonder why life is unfair to us? Yes, the problem starts with expectations of hoping life to be fair with us, Sooner or later, we start founding the grass on the other side greeners to our’s because we think life is only unfair to us. The questions like -“why me? Why this always happens to me?” starts floating to and fro in our head.

As we all know, not every side of the coin can be head, in the same way not every phase of life can be rosy. The problem with expecting life to be fear is -“Most of us start living in our own realities of life and that is what makes us upset when things don’t fall in place. We keep on applying all the permutation and combination or all probabilities to make things happen for us.”

I was having good grades in college so I always expected a good first job for me but I hit the harsh reality when I could not even clear any of my first 5 jobs interviews. I become very discouraged and lost all my hopes and expectations by the outcomes but very soon I realised I am not hurt because of my failure, I am hurt because of my expectations. The key to a happy life is not EXPECT but ACCEPT what we get, As soon as I realised it, I started working again. Yes, I achieved my results late but they were better this time.

“Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair” – Trevor Jones

Acceptance and the realisation of thing gives us the strength to make peace with the situation. Life isn’t fair and we have to deal with it, the most important key to achieve it is accepting instead of expecting and not making any prior assumptions of the outcome. The comparison is another roadblock, we let it steal our joy be assuming that another person is happier than us. Although the truth is, everyone has their own challenges and everyone is fighting their own battles. Not all of us can win a tournament because everyone is participating and by the law of fairness, everyone deserves to win. The universe runs on its own rule and no one knows them.

“Life is like a wheel on a road which can’t be balanced all the time. There would be some sharp turns and ups and downs which will make the wheel unbalanced but that too to keep moving without any breaks. The same goes for life, as it becomes a little unfair to keep you moving ahead. Life can’t be fair because it does not need to be. A little unfair life would make you the person you were meant to be. So, crush your expectations, enjoy both sweet and bitter syrups of life. “


  1. Thanks for this post, Tushita. Yes, life doesn’t always seem fair. But I was told a long time ago, that if things came to us too easily, we wouldn’t learn the lessons we are intended to learn. We learn through challenges, and if we embrace those challenges, they become opportunities that lead to better things.

    1. True, we have to fight every challenge and overcome them to make a beautiful life.

  2. I used to be one of those declaring, “Why me?” Then I turned it around and started saying why me every time something wonderful happened–why do I get to see the sun today? why am I physically able to shovel snow? It’s a whole perspective switch!

    1. Exactly, It’s simple perspective which changes and brings good in our life.

  3. Challenges will always come no matter how much we plan. Having high expectations need not be a bad thing as you are likely to receive a far better outcome. The downside to high expectations is you will feel disappointed in people and when there are delays.

    1. True, so it’s really good to accept that life is unpredictable sometimes.

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